tbswm_star

06:37 pm: dont even read.
i havent written in this thing in a long time. but i figured id try it out again to help me vent, dont favor whos my friend on LJ,
im doing this for me, so i dont need your opinion.

anyway. i dont know where i was when the last entries i wrote were all i know is that i had to be somewhere very far away from where i am now.
the whole idea that i bought my mother a christmas present made me laugh terribly, because at this point i almost wish she would croak.
i havent lived at "my" house for atleast a year now, a bit more. when i turned 18 they found it as an opportunity for me to be gone.
so i went to college, and tried as much as i could, and then none the less my mother decides to pull everything out from underneath me.
with few credits but nothing more i had to leave, and because i did, apparently i couldnt live in the place i once called home.
that immediately meant i had no where to live and it stayed that way for about 7 months, i was homeless as fuck, and i really had no
one to relate to me and realize my situation. during that time, mainly dead of winter id either sleep outside or in a car of a friend, watever it was
it sucked terribly. in the midst of all this i had lost my medical insurance and right before had found out i have arthiritis in both feet which will
sooner lead to both of my knees going out, which means my hips will be offline and my back will be fucked up as hell. yeaaaa. so ive been trying
since then to get insurance again, but i guess not, p.s. social services blows. the pain is getting worse as time proceeds but theres really nothing
i can do about it. i was in the homeless shelter for just a few nights in june, until i was in newbrugh with a few friends and met this guy. and he
kept in contact and somehow, someway fell in love with me. within a week i knew him, he picked me up to come live at his house and ive been
here ever since, its crazy dont get me wrong. the feeling of all of a sudden having a full irish/italian family from being rejected and put down your
whole life, is insane. i love this guy tho, he goes to school in the city, majoring in physics and tells me every day how he is going to marrry me.
wow, something lucky for me? doesnt seem right.

08:20 pm: How I dread the following day....

Do you know how things bobble so much in life? One week things will be as good as they can get, then the next thing you know BAM! things are so horrible and you feel like theres nothing to live for. Is this just me and the bipolar speaking or do other people have the same feelings as i do? When i look around i dont see it in other people. All i know is im tired of wearing this fake smile and trying so hard to see that theres something to look forward to.

~Anyways~ Today....   (NO NAMES MENTIONED)                                      

~~~Me and Her established that if i dont stop supporting habits of wrestlers that they'll simply die, wow, thanks, i honestly didnt realize that and i dont feel like being blamed for any deaths.

~~~They stopped by, we had a bogie, and then they lied and left.

~~~She mentioned His name today in class and i just started laughing because I knew the exact answer to what She was asking This Kid. I want her to know that He's not all hers.

~~~He didnt answer his phone again today, even though it wasnt from my number. This makes me wonder if it isnt just me.

~~~HE is coming home soon which im very excited for. Even though we only get a limited amount of time i know it will mean the world to me cause he always has meant the world to me.

I cant believe its only tuesday, this weeks already going by too slow. I spent $50 on my moms xmas present yesterday when i went shopping with Ingrid. Thats more money then i've ever spent on myself, which makes me feel kind of unselfish. Im excited for xmas break not xmas. Its when everyone comes home.

OH, and found out THE MORNING OF is playing with LIFE BEFORE THIS and JUNIPER at the chance. Thats gonna be a good show. If you wanna go i can prob sell tickets for it, so just tell me.

peace out nuccas

add me but not without a message first, i only add people i know or talk to, im not a myspace whore>>  SaRaHsPaCe

        i just like this picture

09:31 pm: 'ello everyone
~Sooo....i'm on the phone and I just suddenly decided to update my livejournal. Everyone thats cool does it, so try.
Well theres alot that has happened since that "amazing" boyfriend of mine. We broke up like any couple usually does then we stopped talking for awhile and now we are on 'neutral' terms and I moved on to more interesting emo boys. I've been to many shows in the meantime some were just plain kick ass. At one (the used, 30 seconds to mars, broke, h20) I actually met my soulmate, shes exactly like me and it's so freakin awesome, i love that chick. I've met some of the most amazing groups of people in the summer of '05. And whats even funnier is they are all connected in some sick strange way. I hung out with the coolest people ever this summer. Like these guys are seriously all each amazing people and they are all unique in their own way.(NL '04) I did some things I shouldnt have like not come home for a week during COLEGROVEPALOOZA (www.photobucket.com username:fatastar) , which actually kinda topped the infamous john ponessa's parties last year. (it was a hard decision). Or something like working at kmart for about 7 months and havent saved up one dollar because i spend it all on partying. wats wrong with me? I dunno, but now here i am, school sucks and so do the people in it, except for like 4 people. I've hardly gone to practice because i'm always busy as hell. But here's the most recent news: just got ticket for nintendo fusion tour, and spent rob's last night here with him at his going-away party which made me happy. There's alot of good shows coming up and I plan on attending most of them. My friend's THE MORNING OF have a new female singer now who is awesome. They have a show coming up so make sure to attend! Besides all that, i've been to too many court dates lately and have thought of 'giving up' too frequently. I made it a goal to say hi to anyone I could in school just incase I took advantage of my feelings. I wrote my college essay about how every friend i've ever had has betrayed me. IM TOO FREAKIN EMO. Well here's some of the lessons i've learned over the summer:
~Dont trust a kid just because they are scene.
~Drink jungle juice as much as you possibly can.
~Its named the RED DEVIL for a reason.
~All emo guys are the same, they play with ur head (its the girl pants cutting off circulation to their balls).
~DPG will always be DPG.
~Never go to dunkin donuts around midnight.
~Dont lie about what school you go to.
~Gerard Way is even hotter in person.
~im addicted to bogies.
etc....


"You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in" ~TEB

01:31 pm: things are good....
amazingly things arent goin all that bad in my fizzled-life. For the most part im doin pretty well at home and school. And not to mention i have a wonderful boyfriend that means the world to me, but so far our relationship has been interferred a few times. OH, what can i say....i mean when ur boyfriend is this hott ur bound to beat some bitches up. lol.jk.... but i think my main problem is solved which it better cause i wasnt too happy with some of the entries on livejournal. people know wat i mean. well kmart is awesome love the job love the people. cant wait till school is finished...im just lookin forward to the warped tour with L. ;) well gonna go, gotta get my cousin from the airport got two days till florida, forget the tan hut im gonna get the real deal....

hit me back, just to chat, sincerely yours this is ....sarah!

11:47 pm: livejournal is officially dead....
~~~it was fun while the fad lasted. good mems, bad mems, weird and drunkin mems. but its over now. time to move on to a more improved site introducing MYSPACE.com. so i'll officially be there now, i mite randomly come here, but i doubt it. so if u have one, go ahead and add me. mine is http://profiles.myspace.com/users/6949475 ....so uh, see ya there!

05:13 pm: wow, this is like another strange world now, havent been on here in a looong time and now im more attentive to my myspace because all my band buddys have it, so hey, w/e. umm, lots ofupdates but its not like anyone gives a shit so i wont bother. later....

11:06 am: thursday and friday.....saturday is yet to come

 

                                              todays our meet against washingtonville....everyone wish us luck!

UHH *ugh* well lets see. thursday was a pretty crappy day me and ian i dont even know, so im pretty sure its over. then school was just crappy i was so tired. then afterwards we have a no effort meet at marlboro. and she picked me for the 100 and 50 in relays. no biggie. but i wasnt feeling good so she picked somebody else for the hundred that made me really mad. then my time was terrible for the 50. so i go back to the school and wait 45 minutes for my dad and fight with him on the way home. so by the time i got home i wanted to kill myself until i called Lauren. she cheered me up by getting jack and dave to come pick me up and goin out drinkin with them. we went to jacks house played video games and guitar and just had a grand ol time. then jacks bro come home who drives a 350z and is soo cute and sweet. so he made me feel better. then like around 1 i go home. the next day i felt so great besides a bit of a hangover. i was so siked for the nite and just mad hyper. soo, after school i go to dedes and we get ready, we go out with nicole and pick up some supplies. it was me christina, dede, and nicole all togther. we all went cruisin around and had a great time. we went to newburgh met up with the lake street kids and they all wanted to follow us back to the cornwall football game but i didnt recommend it. lol. so we go to the game and run around a find people. mike schmitt was there and that was totally random. and then we go back to rachels with dave me and dede. so we go there and chill. me and dede rolled the perfect blunt it was amazing. so we were fuckin blazed and dave was sooo drunk. then all of a sudden hawlik, bowe, mike, and andy show up and then like benson, phil, and pat too. we were like wtf? hawlik ran in on rachel and dave which was funny. and i just chilled around with bowe. so then like it was only us and pat, phil, and benson. everyone else left. and i dont remember andything but benson was telling me how i chased phil around for a squirrel fur named roger.....uhhh, i have no clue. so we got kinda bored with them and we called up theraz and elisa kicked the guys out and went out with the girls. drove around and were supposed to meet up with adrian but theraz was tired so we ditched those plans. we had so much fun. around who knows wat time in the morning we went back to rachels and watched thirteen drank again then slept, and woke up the next morning with headaches. the next day was too insane.......so i have to leave it for another entry.........

11:05 am: yucky...

ok, well this is hard to all get down. ummm, im gonna go with me and bf are on a 'break'.....w/e.

then, the jones show was kick ass, some drunk guy singing with them then desperetly wanting to give me and everyone else a ride home afterwards. i was totally jonesed out with the t'. we wrote all over each other. and i was the "e" of the jones on the tummys lol. it was great. jude just kinda got criticized for the shoes.  i was with so many people it was great. shoutouts to my loves jess, cait, jen, davey, and anyone else who i communicated with...

the next nite was the hotel party. yes another one im throwing. it was supposed to be at the econo, when i was about to walk in and get it about 10 car fulls of people pull up making as much noise as possible. fuck that. i moved it to the ramada which just happens to be the best hotel ive ever been to, specially for partys. there was 3 girls including me and like 30 guys. yes, we call that a sausage fest. but now there are rumors thank god nothing about me, since i was good.

anyways~swimmings great. being on the team is soooo awesome, so much fun. i was with andy finally yesterday, i havent seen him in awhile and i really missed him. theres just something special there. :).....and then me and tim went like 70 in the pouring rain from goshen to home. jimmy was infront of us and thought we were a cop so he pulled over, funniest shit ever. i have a meet tomorrow against marlboro haha, its gonna be good.

then friday hanging out with the girls until friday where im going up to albany with hembree and meeting who knows how many people up there. cuz' mark and collin just got an apartment, only prob is its 2 bedroom, not 30. so all the people are gonna be squished. me and john are gonna spend more time around st. rose then, bc of himick and i plan on getting together with maybe augie and james, if possible. so thats gonna be a hell lotta fun. well yea......im gonna go, im in study hall and i dont think i have much time........

 

                                                                                                                   luv u

02:04 pm: UPDATE!

I dont know how it just deleted all my entree but here i go again.......

~~alright, after that week long party at john's house which was crazy (specially thanks to adrian n' crew). i ended up missing the first day of school bc of a party the nite before but oh well i guess. its a fashionably late entry, rite? my job is  finished for the season at the yacht club so im looking for a new one for the time being.

swimming has been awesome. since im doing diving now too, i have to stay till 630 everyday but its so worth it. everyone on that team is so great, and im glad i get to be a part of it. no losses yet, go us!

schools been cool, ever weekend i have some kind of social events to attend so i believe i def am on the high richter scale for that. having a football player as a best friend kinda helps too lol. this year its so funny cuz basically the juniors run the school and they all know it. only thing that sux is all the new freshman coming out of nowhere. its like damn rite invaded.

im hardly ever home anymore. basically instead of the phone calls to my house they should be to dede's phone. im always with her. and since ive been here for a week striaght now that makes sense. my parents left for a week or so and so ive been here. but its all good ive had my share of partys while they're gone. not at my house of course because i know something would be broken, due to the newburgh people. ;) so i just stuck to the hotel partys, and i threw one the other nite which ended up goin pretty well. a new group was there and its always cool chillin with new people. of course so many rumors are going around about wat happened there so im just gonna say no rite now to settle it all.

before the party that nite me, carissa, dede, and elisa kinda got initiated into being mexicans. lol we got cuaght up in this parade and me and carissa were out the windows screaming ariba! n'crap it was great, we were all honking our horn. but whats funny is u can tell that none of us our mexicans so we keep getting these funny looks. we wanted to steal a flag tho to make it look better. and then they didnt think i would flash this camera guy so i did, im so outgoing. :)

me and de are always chillin down on lake st which is always exciting. soemthing new always happens. the other nite we all ran from the cops, thats the nite erin got shot.....haahahaha. and then just last night we were all street racing. good times.

anyways~ michelle's bday party is soon, so i gotta go. but thats a pretty good update. oh this weekend, fri is jones' show at the american leagion..be there or be square. and make sure to wear ur merch!                            mwah~~~

***08/09/04.........yes more than a month, i think i deserve a pat on the back, huh?

11:49 am: no such thing as too much partying....
ok, for the last 2 weeks of summer it has been absolutely amazing. the last pot i made was the beginning to a nonstop 4 night party. and i only got one day of a break before i started again. now im at john's and this week long party started last nite, which was really funny stuff. only girl here, so of course even though as non-sober as i was i ended up helping everyone else out. i ended up wearing boxers because evryone else was and i felt left out but besides that...i dont remember much. point is i love these guys. the whole newburgh gang. they are why i dont bother with cornwall people anymore. but anyways so, my jobs going great, im loved there. and my paychecks as good as it can be. all my buddys just left for college, so thats pretty harsh, the good byes to augie and james were drunkin ones, but they still meant something. well they'll be back soon and often too, so nobody get too emotional over that. oh, ok so practice started last monday, and thanx to everything i really havent been able to show. i feel bad but im putting alot of effort in just practicing at work. ok well speaking of work i gotta bounce....i'll update later...mwah!!~

10:28 pm: at dede's getting drunkl....kylie just stripped and like ran around the hoius4 like craaaazieeieieiei it qwas great and now im off ton more drinkd cuz liek i told ned im GEWTTIN DRUNKL!!!!!!

05:07 pm: update!!
ok so now im just at john's with victor their playing "thirteen" and im just chillin. they just had me read this note that josh wrote when he was drunk....he wrote it to himself in the future. thats some funny stuff. i got a new lifeguarding job with john at the newburgh yot club. its perty fancy, i think its gonna be perfect. i havent talked to my parents in almost 2 weeks and therefore i choose not to be home, so i actually havent been home for more than 6 hrs at a time unless im sleeping. the last 2 nights were carry ann's partys that turn out absolutely insane. good times. my boyfriend went away for 3 days and hes only gonna be back for 2 until he leaves again. i dont know why i bother keeping up with relationships....oh, yesterday was the first meeting for varsity swimming and that was cool, i got to ride in rooney's thunderbird with the top down. and then this morning i believe there was supposed to be practice but of course my parents wouldnt bother taking me before i had to work. but i will put a huge effort into the team, its gonna be a good season. jimmys coming over now so i know im gonna get kicked off soon. i'll put the pics from warpedtour on here as soon as i can. they are great pics. ok well im gonna go....love, peace, and chicken grease......JIMMYS HERE.!!!!

06:29 pm: ok so that party on fri that was in a random shed in the woods turned out pretty cool...then watching everyone sober up was even better......then lastnight at steves grad party was great.me and christina bonded while everyone else (which were guys) bounced around crazily. it was awesome. playing guitar for the guys and having them sing along. then the hot tub and zachs car. im kinda glad i didnt camp out under the 9w bridge with gavin craig anf all them. i was afraid of that $7 dollar bum. lol. so yea, everything has been ok. my bfs fine. and stuff....well luvu all, mwah

12:26 pm: warped tour
ok so im at this new school im checking out, bc i really dont feel like going back to cornwall thanx to the ast. principal. anyways its pretty cool here nice people i think i'll stay. but sat was the warped tour and lemme say it was such a kick ass day. me and lisa were together the whole time moshing our asses off. for flogging molly which was my personal fav i crowd surfed 300 ft. and like everyone was there. augie, james, bill, meg, davey and all a bunch of buds from newburgh. it was great. anyways im gonna go and be back later. i have a new guy. which im so proud of. well luv everyone and good luck to all my college buds.

02:44 pm: car accident
oh and anyone that heard about the car accident, im ok, im in pain and my neck and back now has a few problems. but everythings fine and rockys safe. actually only bruise i have is from running into that table at bris house....

02:33 pm: update!!
haha hey peeps! no, i didnt die i've just been reaaaally busy. lol. i cant even go through all this crap lately. too many partys. but i can give credit to jimmy for his show at club crannel COLDWATER TRAJEDY and for last nights show JONES at the arts alliance which was totally awesome. well coldwater is playing again friday and a bunch of us are gonna go, im taking laura and possibly ezra. bris party was soo great i love her to death, shes like the only person that i can stay on the phone from like 11 to 2 with lol and not even notice wat time it is. benders party was crazy, he had 2 bands play which was awesome but they jetted and left all their instruments. can we say e-bay anyone? jk. well ive been chillin with a crew of all newburghers lately, idk they are just crazy and nobody fucks with these girls so its mad funny. but the guys are dead awesome, all from nfa and they kick ass and some are majorly cute. well im working at the town pool now which is ok i guess, but a bunch of people i know hang at the picnic tables and during my break my boss doesnt let me chill with them. :( anyways~ jones merch is coming in soon, me and bri were the first to order some (including the thongs) cant wait till they come in. i found out andrew was an awesome dancer last night, and really knows how to move it. woo-hooo. we all miss tom and cant wait for him to come back me and lisa were talking about throwing him a party for his return. i found the perfect guy, but thats the problem, hes perfect. so scratch that. ummm, idk im gonna go.i think i said enough. tonight partys with my boys UR MY BOY BLUE!!! lol peace, love, and chicken grease....or watever....

07:58 pm:

                                                pic made by my pimp ;) KYLE....^

alright, so lately as been pretty cool, it reminds me that i actually do have some family just not on my moms side. anyways~ i talked to shae and my monica last nite, it made me real happy, i love those girls to death. and then independence day was really "patriotic".  we started off by shopping for like the 3rd day in a row (omg, i love my new stuff),  then I made a cake not just a cake but an american flag cake with strawberries as the red stripes and everything, uh huh...., then like to kill the daylight time we watched our top gun movie and drank our smirnoff, then when it got dark we ended up around the neighborhood in drunken rage waving sparklers screamimg 4th of july...haha good mems..........anyways~ call the cell now that i have it back and umm, i'll be back on wed.! everyone have fun and to my special someone, i miss ya bunches. mwah

11:50 am: any political points of view?
FAHRENHEIT 9/11;

~~Believe it or not im a very political person. I like to have my opinion and express it, and in politics and debates thats possible. haha, ask anyone in rapa's class. any time we had a debate people would expect me to do the most. good times. anyways~ so i saw this documentary the other day which is the highest grossing doc in all of history, shows you something...and when i went to see it i wasnt exactly a bush fan to start with. this movie showed and proved alot of incidents which bush has had covered up so the american people would not go against him. im sorry but i believe the president should be pretty damn honest to his country. the critisism against clinton was because of his private affairs. and if you notice when he was in office we were on balance when this guy came into office we are millions of dollars in debt not to mention its hard enough to just get a job in the first place. now im not blaming this all on bush because of course alot of these decisions were made by congress and they were the ones who needed to approve most of the decisions. alot of people do not like Kerry, for many reasons. but dont you think that anything at this point is better than Bush? the polls are very close and if nato leaves then it prob is kerry but still, people under 18 should still have their opinions and this is one....think about it.........

11:23 pm: goodbye seniors.....
you know its been so long since an update, so i cant fill ya in on everything. ive had the best days of my life in the past month or two. the partys, the concerts, the grad stuff. im now in NC checking out my college, not all that exciting but the partys are good! well, seniors i love you all. and those of you i've come close to you mean the world to me and so much more, i dont know what id do without you. but theres just a few of you that you know we've had our times and those are always in my heart. i luv you. ;) ive prob made myself out to be a fool infront of alot of you but hey, dude im just pure fun. most of you dont know the real me and prob never will but i think its better that way. anyways~guys my official party will be in october (beginning) so those of you who are close im expecting, and those of you who arent near im expecting atleast a call. you really gotta keep in touch. well good luck everyone...most of you have the individual talents that will get you where you wanna be, so dont give up. god bless u all....and thanx for leaving the school, it was about time you got out.

11:53 am: this weekend....

                                                               THE  FINALS

       GAME 1         87-79 PISTONS BABY!!!     NEXT GAME TUESDAY @  9

good weekend actually, even with a bunch of people missing....i left rachels at night and came back in the afternoon the next day. mad funny cause i guess we called 911 on accident because we were calling mad people. so the cops show up to her house and they keep asking us questions thinking someone was in the house. the whole neighborhood was like infront of her house wondering what the hell was going on. thank god her parents were gone. so i walked to the festival with her sister and met bri and a bunch of people there. then went home and then to the arts alliance to see Jones. they did awesome. well i left after they played and went out to shelbys for her bday party. the next day i was supposed to meet up with christie at church with pat but i was waaaaayy too tired and then i went to the dance recital. and then told my parents i was staying home while they left but kinda went out with shelby and a few of her people. shelbys a friend of mine from newburgh and shes only getting home passes for a day or two because once again shes locked up....poor baby. well anyways yea....the game was kick ass last night and i didnt end up getting to sleep till like 3. today none of the seniors are here, so its kinda weird. getting the yearbook signed turns out to be pretty funny on what people are saying. today swimming starts and im not all excentric about that but o well. thursday is the show, friday is the last day, and saturday is a few partys so weeee. congrats to henderson on the prom king. well nothing that interesting here so...late